I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
