I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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