I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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