I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
