we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
