I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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