i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
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I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize