I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
