He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
