You work out of a Hotel?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Randomize
