i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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