it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
