stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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