I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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