ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
