we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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