Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
