Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize