We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
