just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
