I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
