sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
