HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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