Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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