yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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