And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
