i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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