Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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