Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
