Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
