Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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