My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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