In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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