what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Too much gin, very little bucket
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
