Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
