did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
