never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
