In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ugly people sure do ruin things
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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