I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We are two peas in an std pod
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
