so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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