im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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