Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
