Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
