Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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