I want to have your abortion
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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