It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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