ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
