whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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