The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I color on your dick again?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
