Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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