I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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