Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
