one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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