Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
