She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
