hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
