I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize