I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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