Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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