Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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