Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
