Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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