well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
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an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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