it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
