he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
