It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
