Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
