we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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