Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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