My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
