just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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