Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
