I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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