on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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