I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
