Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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