Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
